Couples Therapy in Amsterdam: What to Expect

I am Nanna Lodewijkx, a relationship counselor in Amsterdam. In this guide I explain what couples therapy involves, how a session works and how to get started. My goal is to take away the guesswork, so the only thing left to decide is whether it feels right for you.

Who is couples therapy for?

Couples therapy is for any two people who want to understand each other better. You do not need a relationship in crisis to come. Some couples arrive after years of tension. Others come early, because they notice a pattern and want to change it before it grows.

I work with couples of all kinds. Married, dating, living together or living apart. Straight couples and queer couples. What matters is that you both want to look at what is happening between you.

What to expect from couples therapy in Amsterdam

In our first conversation, I mainly listen. I want to understand how each of you sees the situation. You both get space to speak, and I keep the conversation calm and fair.

From there, we look at the patterns underneath. Most conflicts are not really about the dishes or the calendar. They are about feeling unheard, unsupported or alone. Together we find what sits beneath the surface and work from there.

Sessions usually last around 75 minutes. Some couples come a handful of times. Others stay longer, sometimes years, treating it like a check up every other month or so. You set the pace, and you never have to commit to a fixed number of sessions.

How many sessions do we need?

There is no single answer, because every couple is different. Some come for a few sessions to work through one clear issue. Others stay for several months to rebuild something deeper.

As a rough guide, many couples notice a shift within the first few sessions. You start to hear each other differently and the arguments lose some of their heat. We check in along the way, so you decide when you have what you came for.

How does the first session work?

You reach out by phone, email or the contact form. I send an intake form with a few basic questions and we plan a first session at a time that suits you both, in person in Amsterdam or online.

In that first meeting, we get to know each other. You tell me what brings you in. I ask questions to understand the full picture. By the end you will have a sense of how I work and whether it feels like a fit. There is no pressure to continue.

If getting to the practice is hard to arrange, online sessions work well too.

Couples therapy, relationship coaching or marriage counseling?

People search for many terms. Relationship coach Amsterdam. Marriage counseling Amsterdam. Couples therapy. The words differ, and the goal is often the same: a healthier, closer relationship.

Coaching tends to focus on practical goals and the future. Therapy makes more room for what happened in the past and how it shapes you today. In my practice I combine both, depending on what you need.

Common reasons couples reach out

Every couple is different, and a few themes come up again and again:

• Communication that turns into the same argument on repeat.
• Drifting apart, feeling more like roommates than partners.
• Rebuilding trust after an affair or a broken promise.
• One partner pulling away while the other holds on.
• A big decision ahead, such as moving in together, marriage or children.
• Wondering whether to stay together or go separate ways.

If you recognize your situation here, ring my bell. These are the conversations I have every week.

Sessions in English for internationals in Amsterdam

Amsterdam is full of people who moved here from somewhere else. A relationship carries extra weight when you live far from family and old friends. I offer sessions in English, so language is never a barrier to getting the support you need.

You can switch between English and Dutch whenever that helps. The goal is that both of you can express yourselves fully, in whatever language feels natural in the moment. I am married to an English man and have been for more than two decades, so I know the bilingual drill.

How I work as a couples counselor

My style is warm and direct. I help you both feel heard, and I gently point out the patterns that keep you stuck.

You do not have to arrive with the right words. Part of my work is helping you say what is hard to say, in a way your partner can take in. Many couples tell me the conversations at home become easier after only a handful of sessions.

What does couples therapy in Amsterdam cost?

I work with clear rates, so you know what to expect before we begin. A first introductory call is free, so we can see whether it clicks before you commit to anything. A session of 75 to 90 minutes costs 150 euro, excluding VAT. For some freelancers, the sessions are tax deductible.

Frequently asked questions

Do you offer couples therapy in English in Amsterdam?

Yes. I offer sessions fully in English, and you can switch between English and Dutch whenever that helps. Language is never a barrier to getting support.

How much does couples therapy in Amsterdam cost?

A session of 75 to 90 minutes costs 150 euro, excluding VAT. A short introductory call is free, so you can see whether it feels right before you commit to anything.

How many sessions will we need?

It depends on what you are working on. Many couples notice a shift within the first few sessions, and you decide together when you have what you came for.

Can we do couples therapy online?

Yes. Online sessions work well when getting to the practice is hard to arrange, and they suit most couples just as well as meeting in person.

Do we need to be in crisis to start couples therapy?

No. Many couples come early, simply because they notice a pattern they want to change before it grows into something bigger.